Troubled...

If life has taught me anything over the past few years, it's been that people can be kind, but the vast majority of them, when presented with a visibly modified person, will turn into judgmental asses. I have a problem with that. I was mistreated by schoolmates growing up, and I remember the pain that it caused me. My parents taught me that everyone, no matter how different, should be treated with kindness. I kept that with me as an adult, and as I took my own journey into modification, I had the opportunity to meet people who were very different than me. Sure, in some instances I was taken aback. Not offended, but surprised, because I thought that certain things were only done in faraway lands and not in the United States.

I was blessed in that I wound up getting to know nice people who just happened to have large gauge piercings and visible tattoos. Later, I got to know others in online communities that had even more unusual piercings and tattoos, some with full facial tattoos even. Rather than being repulsed, I was fascinated, and I asked questions. I started with the usual ones (did it hurt? How big is that? How long did it take?) and then went on to the more personal ones, always treading lightly, because I was genuinely interested in the person and their stories.I even had a few things done that I thought I'd never do (septum being the main one) and some I only dreamed of  and others that I was truly frightened of. Somehow, I've managed all these things, but nothing was ever visible to the world, so I wandered about the general populace. Sure, I looked like them, but I had the knowledge of things that they would find frightening and even repulsive. I was different though. Because of the knowledge and my personal experiences, I embraced the modified community. I was more aware of the reactions of others, and I was disappointed, troubled even....

"Look at that! Isn't it disgusting?" "How can he/she stand to look in the mirror with that 'thing' on their face?" "Mutilation, that's what it is! They should be ashamed of themselves!" I heard numerous other remarks, most of them not fit to print. I fought on behalf of the visibly modified person because I felt that it was my duty to do so, even if I didn't really know the person. I ended friendships with people over mean remarks, because while they were talking about someone they saw, they were also talking about me. The modified community is my family. I might not understand the motivation to do some things, but I know it's your right to do so. I won't hate on you because you split your tongue or your penis. It's your body. One thing I won't tolerate is poorly placed piercings or tattoos done by scratchers. I've seen my share of them too. I won't tell you that your tattoo is crappy, but I will tell you that your piercing is rejecting and I'll tell you where to go to get it fixed. I'll try to educate you on proper aftercare (no alcohol or hydrogen peroxide on your piercings) I just wish I could educate the unmodified community a bit more.

Because I'm on modification web sites, I've had the opportunity to get to know modified people that I'd never meet otherwise. Because I'm also on Facebook , I've gotten to know others who aren't as aware or open-minded as I am, and occasionally, a picture of an online modified person that I know will show up on someones page, and no doubt, there will be more negative responses than positive ones. I always speak up on the modified person's behalf, especially when I see the remarks "Ugly, freak, idiot, stupid" or other ignorant things. It troubles me. It hurts that these people are just like the schoolyard bullies, but worse, because the person who has their picture plastered on the page isn't there to defend themselves or educate the ignorant people about their comments. I can only do so much on my own. I guess I should just be grateful that my parents taught me manners.